Are you positive? Ask your dog.

I think most dog owners want to be as kind, gentle and humane as possible, while still effectively training their dogs.  If you read training blogs, you might start to think that withholding rewards is rather…punishing.  Others claim that rewards and punishments have a ying yang relationship.  You cannot have one without the other.

Many of these blogs have a technique-centric approach.  For example, cookies are positive.  Hitting a dog is punishment.  Verbal corrections (No! or Eh eh) are punishment.  Petting and praise are rewards.

If you think this is true, then you would be very wrong.

The DOG determines if you are using the carrot or the stick.  You, the human, trainer, owner do NOT get to determine what is naughty or nice.  Technique-centric trainers are wrong because they are presuming to know how the dog feels and thinks about various consequences.  They are painting all dogs with the same brush.

All dog training (not rehabilitation – different ballgame) uses carrots and sticks.  The technical terms are reinforcements and punishments.  You can giveth or taketh them away.  Not everyone has the same likes and dislikes.

For example, some people hate snakes while other like them.  Offering Johnny a trip to the snake exhibit for cleaning his room is a pleasant consequence only if Johnny likes snakes.  If Johnny refuses to clean his room despite a trip to the snake exhibit, you would be foolish to ignore that reaction.  The smart move is to consider that Johnny may be terrified of snakes.

So too it is with our pets.  Fasten your seat belts and leave your ego at the door.  It is time to ask the dog for some feedback on what they really think.  Here are some examples to consider:
Petting and praise for sitting.

• If the dog sits more often, you have used a carrot.
• If the dog sits less often, you have used the proverbial stick.

Your touch could be repulsive to a dog.  Puppy mill dogs and other under socialized animals cringe in terror at being touched.  Other dogs may tolerate your advances but really do not like it.  Some pets develop pain issues and no longer enjoy touch like they did in the past.  Never assume someone welcomes physical contact.

Push the dog off when it jumps.

• If the dog jumps less often, you have punished jumping.
• If your dog jumps more often, you have rewarded it.

Many dogs love rough, physical play.  Rough handling can be play.  Pushing, shoving, grabbing – are fun for many dogs.   Being physically pushed is better than a slab of steak for many dogs.

Leash correcting a dog for pulling, then rewarding when the dog comes back to your side.

• If the dog pulls less often, then the correction has punished the pulling.
• If the dog stays right by your side, then you are reinforcing the dog for being at your side.
• If your dog yo-yos between pulling and walking at your side, then you have rewarded pulling on the leash.  The dog has learned that pulling gets a correction.  The dog willing takes the pain in order to get a reward.

Dogs will learn to misbehave to get rewards.  You always get what you create.  The dog is not lying.  If you do not like having a yo-yo dog, look in the mirror because you probably created this problem behaviour.  I certainly hope no one would intentionally do this, but it does have some practical uses.  Think needle at the veterinary clinic means cookies.

Ignoring barking

• You ignore barking.  Your dog’s barking worsens and then eventually stops.  You have used extinction.
• You ignore barking and the dog quickly stops barking.  You have punished the dog by withdrawing attention the dog finds valuable, much like a timeout.
• You ignore barking and barking escalates.  The dog probably wants you to go away.

You do not necessarily punish a dog by ignoring it.  If a dog wants you to go away, ignoring them is a carrot.  Even the happiest married couples probably realize it’s nice to see your spouse leave so you can have a bubble bath.  Love you – go away – come back later.  Do not assume your presence is always a gift to the universe.  You’re special, but not THAT special.  None of us is.

The point being that in order to aspire to compassionate – to be more humane and kinder, we need to stop talking so much and we need to start listening.

We listen by watching the dog’s reaction.  When you reach to pat a dog on the head and see that slight ducking and shying away, then take note.  Look for escape and avoidance behaviours.  They can be hard to spot.  Relief can look oddly similar to joy.

Avoid a technique-centric approach and choose communication.  When you stop – really stop – and listen, you realize that all dogs respond to positive reinforcement.  Unfortunately, too often, the human thinks they are being positive and the dog firmly disagrees.  You must truly hear what the dog is saying.

If you do that, you realize that the dog will tell you which quadrant is in play.  Open yourself up to the dog’s answer, even if the truth might sting a little.

Side note:  I love technical, jargon filled blogs.  I just happen to think that most people fall into a coma reading them.  Would recommend an introductory psychology text as a good source of information for anyone wanting to learn more.